Couples Counseling

Couples Counseling

 

Relationships are one of the most essential parts of the human experience and can be one of the most painful parts when they are not going well. All couples face challenges, and relationships are resilient if given the support they need. Entering into couples therapy is a valuable undertaking, and finding your way out of pain and into connection is possible. I’ve worked with many couples who emerge from dark times with a deeper connection and a more satisfying relationship.

We welcome people of all genders, sexual orientations, ethnicities, cultures and romantic configurations (mono, poly, open, etc.) and aim to create an affirming space for LGBTQIA+ to do this work.

Couples therapy can be helpful for anyone in a romantic relationship, whether you’re dating, partners, in a relationship, considering being in a relationship, or have been married for many years. 

Our couples come to therapy for a number of reasons, including:

  • “Perpetual problems” – the same issue(s) coming up over and over again

  • Adjusting to becoming parents and other transitions

  • Premarital/newly married – wanting to establish a good foundation

  • Looking for a relationship “tune up”

  • Deepening connection with one another

  • Disconnection from each other

  • It is really important to us to speak to potential clients prior to the first session for a few reasons. First, it gives you the opportunity to ask any questions you have about our training, background, style, approach to therapy, and fees. Second, it gives us an opportunity to start to get to know you and what is going on in your life that has you thinking about therapy. Usually we can accomplish this in about 15 minutes. If at the end of the phone consultation we determine that we are a good fit for your needs, we will set up the first session. If not, we are happy to work with you to find someone who is a better fit.

    All sessions will be a 45-minute appointment. The first session will focus on us getting some information on the relationship. By the time couples get to our office they are usually feeling stuck, in pain, or checked out; their best efforts to get to a better place haven’t worked, and they’ve decided therapy might be helpful. Thus, the first session is really spent trying to get to know the relationship and both partners so we can understand the history and big picture. After we complete the brief consultation and agree that we are a good therapeutic match, we will set up an intake session and our therapeutic relationship will begin.

    Subsequent sessions are focused on the underlying emotions of arguments and how to get un-stuck and experience new ways to be in relationship with one another.

    Our style with couples is collaborative, experiential, direct, and down to earth. In couples therapy, our client is the relationship; through that lens we begin work on rebuilding connection, understanding self and other, and healing injuries. We interrupt problematic patterns of behavior and deepen the ability for partners to really see and know each other – working to build trust they can both care for one another, and be cared for in return. In essence, couples build an owner’s manual for one another and for their relationship, and they are able to end therapy with the skills needed to function better on their own. Therapy will be a blend of us providing information on how to better communicate with each other and the practical tools and strategies on how to get un-stuck during disagreements. Once those tools have become a stronger foundation, you can also start to build on how to better connect with each other and feel safer in the relationship.